Earners,

I can't tell you the amount of time saying no has made me a ton of money. It's the most powerful word in the English language, and yet no one uses it enough. That ends today - I am going to share with you how saying no in different ways will make you significantly more money.

Say No Without Saying No

Usually, when people hear me say the above, they think I mean literally saying “no” and proceed to worry about coming off combative. NO. There's a ton of different ways to say it, and it's quite artful once you get the hang of it.

The context of what I am talking about saying “no” to is for requests, contracts, really anytime that someone proposes something to you that isn't where you'd like it to be.

Let's say you just got a fresh job offer for $80,000. Sounds great, right?

But you know you should ALWAYS try to negotiate for more. You don't say "no" to the $80,000. Instead, you say something like, "Thank you so much for the offer. I really appreciate it and I am super excited to get started! I was hoping to be somewhere between $105-110K for salary. Would it be impossible to get within that?"

Nowhere in that statement did you see the word "no", and yet it is clear as day that I am saying it. It comes off smoother, softer, and yet is still super firm without demanding anything. A lot of time when you're negotiating, it's really just exploring and gathering information about where the other person is at. You'll never know their limits if you don't search for them.

Let's say they come back with $85k. Oh jeez okay, well I guess that's the best they can do right? NO. They came up a bit at your request, meaning they likely held back a bit. It's rare anyone will go to their maximum on the first offer (and if they do, they will be very firm in telling you that). How can you get them to keep going?

You say no without saying no. What I typically say is "Thank you so much for that offer and trying to work with me on this! I apologize though, that just doesn't work for me. Are we able to get within the range stated above?" Again, I'm saying no without actually having to say no.

Don’t Stop Someone from Negotiating Against Themselves

Continuing with our example, let's say they come up to $90k and say that's the best they can do. Once again, they have come up at your request. No matter how uncomfortable it may feel, do not EVER stop someone who is negotiating against themselves (that is, continually improving their offer). You keep saying no, politely, until they've shown definitive firmness. You basically reword the above phrase to again hold to your offer.

This happened recently with a business deal I did. I sent over my proposal and they asked if I could adjust the numbers down before they present it to the client so it has a better chance of going through. A very reasonable request in my business. I thanked them for considering my offer but suggested we go ahead with the initial offer and see what their feedback is, essentially saying no without saying no.

They came back with an offer that was pretty solid - but I politely suggested it wouldn’t work for me. They then came back with an increased one (and one that I would be more than happy with). That’s when the “don’t mess this up” intrusive thoughts enter and they usually don’t ever leave, you just get better at dealing with them. I again stated it wouldn’t work… then silence. This can really mess with you, but you often need to stay strong and not cave unless you REALLY believe the deal will die without following up.

Then I get the email. That sweet, sweet email. They came all the way up. I accepted and we closed it off. That does NOT happen if I stop them from negotiating against themselves. That doesn't happen if I don't stand my ground and stomach that uncertainty. I feel as though "standing your ground" also gets this reputation for being a hard ass. No… be super polite and simply reiterate what you said previously. It goes a long way.

This Works Everywhere

Start saying no without saying no across not just business deals but life in general. We often don't realize it but we are constantly having micro negotiations in our personal lifes with friends and family - keeping this method in mind can help you become a much better communicator (and let you have your way a little more frequently).

As always, if you have any questions, please respond to this email! Would love to help where I can.

Earn more,

Nate